SEPTEMBER 17, 2024 – MOMMY and ME – BLOG # 022 – SYLVIA TO THE RESCUE

As Mommy grew more dependent, the hours that Mary and I spent with Mommy became longer and longer. Mary arrived in the morning to wake Mommy, prepare her breakfast, dress her and get her going for the day. By the time I would arrive, she’d be sitting at the kitchen table finishing up. I'd come over to start teasing her, raising her spirit and getting her to laugh, or even to start her  "fussing at me" routine. There were times though, Mary would call me a bit earlier to let me know to come over earlier. “Come and see Mommy” she would say. It was when she asked about me and just wanted to see my face. I know that it meant that she specifically asked where I was or that she felt anxious about something. We knew that it was a time that Mommy wanted to just see me or nor that I was near.

Mary was overwhelmed as she spent many hours in any day with Mommy, leaving Mommy’s house in the evenings. Mary would then return at 3:00 AM to further assist her, only to return that same morning to wake her. It was time to get her some help. Mary and I were in agreement that an additional caregiver was necessary at that point. And so it will be.

 

I turned to my little brother for some help with this. Fortunately, he was acquainted with a reliable, responsible and gentle person that has experience to assist Mary with Mommy. After being interviewed by Mary and I, “Sylvia” was given the nod. Mommy instantly took to Sylvia and they became trusting right off the bat. As Mary coached Sylvia, I felt that I made the right move in adding Sylvia. She was a sweetheart and it surely gave Mary the relief she needed and most of all, it gave Mommy around the clock care that she needed. Yeah, it was SYLVIA TO THE RESCUE.

 July 30, 2024 - MOMMY and ME – BLOG # 021– MOMMY AND MARY GOT ME THIS TIME

 Her caregiver, “Mary,” (whom I refer to as our Angel – see Blog #008, dated April 8, 2008) shared lots of good times and not so good times with us. Without Mary, I believe that Mommy would not have lived as long as she did.  Mary sustained Mommy’s existence. As a son, the scope of my caring for Mommy was limited. But by God’s grace, Mary was referred to me by a good friend. She and Mommy hit it off right away, becoming an item . . . where there’s Mommy, there was Mary.  

 

I recall it being late morning or early afternoon when it was time to test Mommy’s in-home security system. It was the one designed to monitor Mommy’s activity in her home, where assistance was a push button away. Once a month, we were to test the system by having Mommy do a mock call for assistance. So, I came over and called the system and initiated the test call. The operator answered, stating “Hello Ms. Gertrude . . . are you OK?” As Mommy sat at the kitchen table and Mary was standing peering out the kitchen window, Mommy replied, “Who is that calling my name?”  I stated, “Mommy that’s the security lady . . . we’re testing the system just like we do each month . . . talk to her.”  Realizing that Mommy seemed confused, she stated again, “Hi Ms. Getrude, how are you doing?”

 

Mommy – “Who’s that calling my name?”

 

Me – “Mommy it’s the security lady . . . we’re testing the system so come on, play along.”

 

Security Lady – “Hello Ms. Gertrude.”

Mommy – “Who is that calling my name?’’

 

I felt myself becoming a bit frustrated, noticing a peculiar look on Mommy’s face. I think I saw Mary sort of turn sideways from me, looking out of the kitchen window not saying anything. Mommy again did not cooperate with the security lady at all. By now, I’m just not understanding what Mommy is doing and I’m losing it. It’s a rather serious thing to test the security system and have everything in working order, just in case. We finally completed the call, and the test was over. Mary was on edge a bit, but Mommy (who really could keep a straight face if she wanted to) held it just long enough. I remember, even as a little boy, how she fooled me sometimes in the same way.

Mommy and Mary knew me that way and decided to mess with me that day. I can’t remember the security lady’s reaction(s). Mind you, it took me several years to realize that Mommy and Mary were just playing a game with me, they were having a ball! I was, just like always, almost blown out as to why Mommy was foiling the test on purpose. Little did I know that Mommy, and Mary too (I think) decided to mess with “Guy.” I never talked to Mary about the prank, but it was a good one, they got me good.

Mary became family to Mommy and me. Doctor’s visits, shopping, church . . . it didn’t matter, Mary was Mommy’s sidekick; they were inseparable. With no one else to depend on, Mary and I forged on to keep Mommy happy and to keep that great smile that she always had on her face. BUT THEY GOT ME THIS TIME.

July 7, 2024 – MOMMY and ME – BLOG # 0020 – RUNNING INTO AN OLD COLLEAGUE AT THE PARTY

Mommy had settled into her new home already and became really comfortable.  Mary had not yet come on the scene and Mommy was getting around pretty well. It was May and our flowers were planted, and the grass was looking really nice. We liked to wander around in our connected yards as Mommy pointed out little things that she didn’t like to look at . . . like that “ole shed,” she called it. It was an old metal shed that I patched together, surrounded by ground foliage. She wanted me to get rid of it, but I thought that it gave the yard a bit of character.

As we wandered, I suddenly came up with a great idea . . . a backyard birthday party on her 90^TH birthday, July 7. I’d invite the seniors’ organizations from the church and the Beechwood Center. No cooking or fussing with food but catering the whole thing instead. As the time came closer, my cousin Nancy would come to town from Chattanooga to help. I hired a friend’s catering company for the food and a tent company for a large tent in the yard for shade.

 

The weather was just right, and Mommy felt well. The sun was warm, and the large tent was just in time. Nancy handled games with most of the seniors from the church which was a lot of fun. The food was great, and Mommy’s Fellowship members were really happy for her.

There was one gentleman that was in attendance that both Mommy and I hadn’t seen in many years. He was one of my mentors that helped mold me and several other boys by way of an organization called the “Cub Scouts.” He was my “Den Dad”, Mr. Patton. He was the father of a good friend, a high school partner of mine who was in the Cub Scouts with me. He and Mommy (who was our “Den Mother”), were our leaders of Den #2, Wolf Pack 1556. Mommy hadn’t seen Mr. Patton in a long time, and it was the most pleasant reunion EVER. It was one of those times that Mommy just gleamed, smiling from ear to ear. Mommy didn’t notice Mr. Patton was there at first. I watched as Mommy mingled and finally ran into him at the party. I snapped the picture as they stood and reminisced. It was a good time for Mommy.

June 22, 2024 - MOMMY and ME – BLOG # 019 – I COULDN’T TELL THAT SHE EVER STOPPED

It was an evening when Mary, Mommy and I had finished dinner and we sat at the dinner table talking and joking. Mommy’s memory had already begun to falter a bit sometimes. She was past the stage of repeating herself and into just plain forgetting important things. Mommy got up to go to the bathroom when Mary and I briefly exchanged ideas to get Mommy busy doing something that she hadn’t done in a while. Mommy's dementia was progressing. Mary and I understood the importance of keeping Mommy's mind active and we were always looking for ways to do that. Mommy had already shared with Mary her love for sewing. She talked about her love for quilting. I wonder if her granddaughters knew that she intended to make each of then a quilt that she hoped they’d keep for a lifetime?

We had an “ah ha” moment . . . let's break out her sewing machine. Mind you, this was not a typical sewing machine. It was a “Singer,” I don’t know, maybe a 1940s model. However, Mommy refused to replace it. I remember as a little kid, she didn’t like anyone near this apparatus. . . She kept it covered in the basement and pushed well out of the way. I recall a repairman coming to the house on a couple of occasions to do repairs to it. I truly believe that no one ever sat and worked on the machine but her, and that’s why I preserved it.

I walked to her spare bedroom where it sat, covered with a blanket. Mommy caught me out of the corner of her eye as I struggled, carrying it into the kitchen area. I distinctly remember hearing her say . . . “What you gonna do with that boy?” Mary chuckled and chimed right in . . . “Miss Gertrude, don’t you want to do some sewing?” After she stopped and stared me down for a few seconds, Mommy scooted her chair over to that machine and got serious with it. I remember her grabbing the top as I raised it, because it was heavy. (The old-fashioned machine folded up and out of the cabinet it was in as the top flipped over to form a desk). Without another word, Mommy just went to work, setting up the “bobbin” and other workings of the machine, getting ready to take up where she left off. I was running late for an appointment that I had to make, so I had to leave Mommy and Mary. But the delight was to see Mommy light up and do something that she cherished all of her life. It's almost like you COULDN’T TELL THAT SHE EVER STOPPED sewing.