MARCH 31, 2008 – MOMMY and ME BLOG #007 – THE TIME CAME . . .

Mommy settled in real well in her new home. She loved it when the mail lady would accidentally leave a piece of my mail at her house. Come to think of it, I think that she did it on purpose. She would make it a point to get dressed and proudly bring it to my front door and ring the bell. She would say “I don’t want to come in” which meant “let me in” . . . so that’s what I did. She always came in and looked around and commented on how cluttered things were and why I don’t have any living room furniture, yep, every time. I would remind her that I was just like her . . . one who saved everything.

I began to notice the Mommy started to repeat herself a lot and forgetting things. Of course, knowing that it will progress, I couldn’t help but think about the first time I had to deprive her of her freedom and stop her from driving. She was 89 when I decided that it had to be done. It was the first of a series of real tough things that I know I had to do. I remember the look on her face when I told her that I loved her and cared about her and that I didn’t want her to hurt herself or anyone else. She had already had one accident two years prior after leaving her home in Taylor, hitting the back of a van. No one was hurt and the driver of the van took care of her and notified me. I wrestled with stopping her then, but just couldn’t take that freedom, that independence away from her at the time. She was so proud of being able to go to church and shopping by herself. But THE TIME CAME. She sadly looked at me and said, “you mean I can’t drive my car no more?” She looked away and she never said anymore about it. She really didn’t want to hurt anyone else.

Mommy’s condition worsened and it concerned me more and more. A couple of times I had to come off of the performance stage and rush home after being notified of an alarm at her house. Another time, a friend called me while I was on stage, informing me that Mommy sounded sick. I would have to take even more of her independence away. I promised her that she would stay home, but it got a bit rough for me . . . I needed help . . . I knew she wouldn’t like it, but THE TIME CAME.

Not really knowing in what direction I should go, I found an association in this city that dealt with referring home care agencies. That was my first stop. To my dismay, the agencies that I was referred to, all three of them, seemed not even to care about anything, much homecare. Arriving late for initial interviews and finally arriving shabbily dress and the like, didn’t impress me, “not a lick” as Mommy would say.

I saw the direction that this search was going in and had to change gears. I knew that I had to talk to people that have been where I was going. A good friend referred me to an Angel . . . THEN CAME MARY.